“If this gave you exactly what you were looking for, what would that be?” This is the question I ask at the beginning of every coaching conversation. The answer I get most often is, “Clarity.” My clients don’t come to coaching expecting answers—they know I won’t give them any. They come hoping to be asked the questions that’ll allow them to access their inner power.
You already know
That’s what I mean with I talk about “inner power.” You already know because all the resources are in you.
The problem is everyone around you also thinks they know; they give you what they think you need, what’s good or bad for you, what’s the smart or dumb choice.
The problem is after years of good-intentioned advice coming from parents, spouses, siblings, mentors, teachers, bosses, etc. (the list is long), you’ve lost touch with your self-authority.
The problem is there seem to be too many layers to peel off until you reach your own wisdom. There’s the self-doubt, the second-guessing, the guilty-feeling, the shame, the apparent powerlessness.
Nonsense: you know what path you must take to get to where you want to be. And it is your birthright to want to get there (please, don’t forget that).
But it looks like you don’t
Yeah, how do you peel off all the layers? How do you convince yourself that the decision you’re about to make will lead to a desirable outcome? How do you give yourself permission to want that outcome—instead of what others (your mother, mentor, coach, boss, sister, etc., the list is long) want for you?
How do you even make sure that that’s really what you want?
You only need some clarity
This is where a coaching conversation may come in handy.
Last week, a client thought they needed to choose between A and B. The clarity they gained allowed them to see that the choice they wanted to make was not choosing between A and B.
Another one thought they needed to change careers because they felt the work drained them. The new clarity allowed them to see they only needed a new mindset to approach the work.
Yet a third one came in thinking they needed tools to communicate with someone who was ghosting them. With the gained clarity, they saw they only needed not to allow someone else’s behavior to dictate their feelings.
Fantastic, congratulations on tapping into your own internal leadership. Your self-authority. Your inner power.
Where will you go from here? What else is possible?