“If this gave you exactly what you were looking for, what would that be?” This is the question I ask at the beginning of every coaching conversation. The answer I get most often is, “Clarity.” My clients don’t come to coaching expecting answers—they know I won’t give them any. They come hoping to be asked […]

The Habit Of Being Unhappy

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, the saying goes. When I touch fire, I inevitably feel pain. Pain gives me information key to my survival. In that moment, it’s telling me, “this isn’t good for you,” and so, I remove my hand. But when the pain is emotional, why do we so often keep the […]

ChiRunning: from control to focus

Are you a control freak? I believed I was no longer one. But a few Saturdays ago, while practicing ChiRunning, I discovered a “controller” pulling the strings in my brain: operating in incognito mode, it’d been guiding me. My ballet instructor, Mademoiselle Alice, tapped her long cane on the floor like a TV-show cliché–un, deux, […]

My Restless Saboteur

You know these people who always need to be doing something? That was me. I saw myself as active, energetic, multidisciplinary, multi-faceted. And smart! Far from that. This assessment showed me that my restlessness was a self-sabotaging habit, a Saboteur, as we, Positive Intelligence (PQ) Coaches, call these automatic thought patterns. My Restless Saboteur, Speedy, […]

Mind lessons from slow running

When I learned about Zone 2 training I thought it was something only professional ultra-marathoners needed to do. Running while keeping my heart rate low? Impossible, I thought. But its touted benefits–endurance, fewer injuries, weight loss–made me want to try it. And truth be told, I’m a hyper-achiever: if others could do it, I needed […]

The only advice you need: DON’T LISTEN TO ADVICE

I have a PhD, two masters, a bachelor’s, and a couple of certificates. I speak four languages, wrote two novels, ran my first half-marathon at 50, and left my home country at 44 to start a new life in the US. Impressed? Please, don’t be – be compassionate. All those things – accomplishments? – are […]

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